Rooting through three-dimensional, or rather, metric space, the rapidly exploring random tree (RRT) iteratively, (arguably artfully) draws targeted routes t...


Tinker of things and thoughts, a thingsea of thinks and thinksea of things, entity conches and slippery concepts, Eve’s tired thought cycles sank idly into a...


When it isn’t exactly clear what it means to begin at the beginning, often a little self-conscious meta-pondering provides a useful segue into the material.


When it isn’t exactly clear what it means to begin at the beginning, often a little self-conscious meta-pondering provides a useful segue into the material.

(I say this from experience: it is how yours truly has vanquished many a disquisition. It is how I am beginning right now, thank you very much.)

Alternately phrased, Auden’s exhortation is incomplete: “Look, look in the mirror, O look in your distress.” The saner part always ends up laughing at just how much odder your nose and face are than you usually imagine. I have never won a laughing contest against myself. And that’s a fine place from which to start any old disquisition.

Camera Reflected in Author's Eye

Case in point: we remark on that hideously extravagant mosaic recapitulating itself in the background (a variation on Sierpinski’s carpet), wasting your browser’s cycles and, should you wish to see the spectacle through, your time. Does it not capture the very notion of beginning somewhere and ending nowhere, as any good ramble must?

Anyway, some commodious vicus of recirculation may bring us (past Eve and Adam’s) back, recursively, to the theme in more rigorous depth (perhaps when the iterations of the universe (or my mind) revisit this spot in a more poetic mood).

But for now, I wend my way more towards the theme of this inaugural entry, and away from my rhapsodic musings – towards JavaScript!

I begin with what I proffer as a poetic text – not in that it’s successful poetry, but in that it makes something more aesthetic than functional, imagistic than quotidian, out of a language that is mostly quotidian and functional (and you thought you were escaping a poetic mood!):

function I() {}

I.prototype.am = function() {
  var self = this;
  return self.aStrangeLoop();

I.prototype.aStrangeLoop = function() {
  var i = this;
  return i.am();

var i = new I();
i.am(); // ;()am.i?

Feel free to paste that into your browser console – it may just be the pithiest phishing scheme a jag has ever come up with. (In fact, it should blow your stack, as the kids say, almost immediately.)

No, the point is to look at this artistically. There’s something quite expressive about this maligned language – no, not that it’s like C but it’s got those terse lambdas – but some angular(!) jazz going on with this prototype thing: there’s a prototype of me? I contain (I contains?) a strange looping function and an existential function? For that matter, it seems like everything here is a function… Dare I make this I ask the question…? I am, the self is this, it is, it loops, strangely it is.

And off I send my poor Frankenstein’s monster, puttering away, a recapitulation of myself, making it ask itself what it is for an agonizing couple of microseconds before its universe’s thermodynamics fizz to a grinding halt.

How eschatological, how cosmic! Is there a poetry in this? Soi-disant, I think so.

(I could make the function a tad more well-behaved by throwing in a setTimeout, but at that point I’d feel like I was treating I like a five-year-old. Let’s wait till ES6 and optimized tail calls to revisit subjective existence as a recursive loop, h/t Douglas Hofstadter.)

Let’s try again, more whimsically, a variation:

function I() {
  try {
  } catch (mono) {

Now that’s what I call enjambment!(\n) One is almost put in mind of A Commuter’s Lament, the darkly crotchety poem gently flicking past NY metro-goers transferring from Port Authority to Times Square. Perhaps “A Collegiate Lament,” for my take.

(Here, incidentally, a JavaScript aficionado might stop and ask, “is it a TypeError (undefined is not a function), is it a ReferenceError (mindfulAcceptance is not defined)?” For the sake of this poem, thankfully, mindfulAcceptance is not defined.)

The above parenthetical raises the real crux of these two jocular micro-poems. Apart from their forced half-jokes and clearly non-MLA syntax, both poems rely on the melding of their words with abstract computational structures simple enough to (hopefully) be relevant and apparent to the lay reader. The first relies on mutual recursion, the doom of the attendant infinite loop, and the common trope (to borrow the literary term) of renaming this to something else. Poets like deixis, right?

The second is perhaps more pedantic in inviting the reader to run the code in their head: toLoveAgain is meant to throw an error (suggested by the ensuing catch block, the playful suggestion of catching mono after this attempt). Simple enough, but mindfulAcceptance is meant to throw an error that ends up uncaught. The poem reads without this imaginary run (this psycho-execution? Sounds grim.), but only some programmatic perusal reveals the structure entire.

Hm, so I’ve written two poems here that have crash-and-burn errors as their point – revealing? Perhaps. But that’s to say nothing of the perhaps more idyllic poems that trees and bloom filters and maybe the odd adjacency list might invite.

Call this a manifesto of Wagnerian proportions, a dilettantish titillation of mental structures as disparate as newlines and verse – a hint at the syncretic, rich tapestries of the inner (ignorant) 21st-century mind.